Hello my little shots of non-alcoholic sparkling apple juice!
Just a quick pop in to say you can pre-order my collection Fortune Box (Eraserhead Press) now: “No one knows where or what Tower Ltd Surprise Packages is or why it’s sending gifts to complete strangers across The City. All they know is that each package is the best thing that’s ever happened to them…or the worst.”
It’s been described as being like a ‘season of The Twilight Zone’ which I was really pleased about. So don’t delay, pre-order today!
Merry Halloween my little apple carts, may all your disturbing dreams come true and your stomachs explode with sugary delights. I asked people to send me their own crappypastas, which are terribly written internet horror stories. Enjoy!
Hello! May all your jolly moments come at once in an overwhelming rush.
I was interviewed by horror podcast Deadman’s Tome about my new story with the magazine, and other things as well. It was live which meant I had to crawl out of bed at twenty to four in the morning my time. At first I was quite chatty, but a muesli crash ensued. Enjoy!
The other day I went to use the computer only to be shocked by a terrifying, eternal grin repeated many times over. Bill had discovered Yue Minjun and saved his picture to the desktop. I thought immediately of Aphex Twin or Being John Malkovich.
Minjun is an artist from Beijing who uses his own face, frozen in a grin, in all his paintings and sculptures, which often replicate iconic imagery such as the Terracotta Army. There’s a kind of mischief and joy to his work, which has been shown in China, London, France, and Switzerland among others.
Merry afternoon to you, or whatever time you exist in. I continued my experiment with mouth noises by talking about weird and interesting books I’ve read.
Blurb: “Aisha’s front room doubles as a depression-era cinema, her bedroom a Parisian salon and her study a book shop from the psychedelic Sixties. Lately, though, something dark and menacing has been changing the landscapes and the people in them, leading Aisha to question whether she may be the cause.”
Trailer (written by me and animated by Bill):
Get your copy here! As soon as I discovered it was live I had a panic attack, but the panic was tinged with excitement so it wasn’t all bad.
The publisher posted a fun little interview in which you find out which Mighty Boosh character I’d be so have a read of that.
Also on May 14th I’ll be reading from it *in front of people* for the Brighton Fringe Festival which is mildly terrifying. Last Sunday I went with Bill and our friend Steve to put up posters for it and take their artwork to a gallery. Have a peek at our gaffes and hi-jinks in the very short video below.
Hello my little sugar cubes dangled over a glass of absinthe. My friend Steve and I have once again created our own writer and artist’s retreat as we have strict deadlines to get things finished, but I have still managed to read some peculiar books.
This is a bizarre and beautifully poetic book about some dark things. Leza takes inspiration from same sex Russian marriage, Jean Cocteau’s beauty and the beast, Mexican folklore and underground sex slave cults among other things and gives them an erotically feminine fairy tale twist. I enjoyed the ‘real world’ stories as much as the surreal, a good example being a relationship failing amidst heroine dependence. Pretty!
This fun book is a kind of YA twist on the bizarro genre. When youngsters reach a certain age they are forcibly turned into marionette puppets with strings that reach far into the sky. No one knows what’s up there, or why they have to do it, but one young girl decides to rebel just as something strange starts happening to the puppets .
I liked the way the teens actually do things teens do like smoke and skip school. In fact this could be an allegory for ‘responsible’ rebellion and why it’s necessary to look beyond your situation and not always do as you’re told.
The story starts with immediate tension and continues throughout. A girl is walking home from a night out followed by boys when, just in time, she’s picked up by her grandfather – who’s been dead for several years. When she arrives back at his place joy turns to fear as she realises something isn’t right.
As the character lurches from room to room the story becomes progressively darker and the effect is disorientating, but it deals with shame and guilt and love and is more than mere gross out stuff.
The head of a large corporation in a futuristic world is in hospital and his son is missing, along with millions of dollars. Add to that an estranged son with questionable motives and a daughter who has to go on the run and you’ve got an enjoyable read that reminded me of classic action science fiction films. The gadgets aren’t always immediately described which can seem confusing at first, but I’d much rather that than reams of explanation.
K. Ceres Wright reading a section (NSFW)
Good day, hope you enjoy these if you decide to purchase, toodle pip!
Hello! I’ve got book writer author type events happening this year and, if possible, it would be wonderful to see you there. If you’re American I’ll be in Portland, Oregon, this November for an event that all weirdo writers should take part in. Have a look below at the fantastical things.
Readings And Revelry, July 4th, The Big Green Book Shop
American author Laura Lee Bahr is hosting an evening of interviews and readings at The Big Green Book Shop in London. It’s been on the BBC, don’t you know? We may be joined by writer Adam Lowe but, as yet, we’re not sure.
Bizarrocon, November
And, finally, I shall be attending Bizarrocon mid November in Portland, Oregon, for a week of workshops and readings. If anyone is able to attend I shall see you there, but if not I’ll regale you with tales of the Lovecraft bar and other wondrous things. To find out more nearer the time follow blog bizarrocentral, or the specially dedicated site Bizarrocon.
Merry Wednesday my little stuffed toys in a jar disguised to look like pickled conjoined goat twins. I’ve some news: my surreal, bizarro, weird fiction (and whatever else) comedy novella 4 Rooms In A Semi Detached House has been accepted by StrangeHouse Books (thanks, StrangeHouse Books!) and to celebrate here are 4 short experimental and possibly disturbing films.
The Cat With Hands was made by Robert Morgan, whose short animation Deloused featured in The ABCs of Death 2 (which I much preferred to the toilet fixated original). He makes cool and grotesque things, you should have a look. The Cat With Hands is his most famous work.
As well as being an amazing music man with his own record label, Flying Lotus has now set up Brainfeeder Films. With his own feature length production making people sick and a short by David Firth (of Salad Fingers) on the way, I’m looking forward to what else will be released.
The charmingly titled FuckkkYouuu is by Eddie Alcazar, with soundtrack by Flying Lotus.
I’m sure you all remember Alan Tutorials, the youtube channel featuring daft tutorials such as how to pick up a chair, which slowly grew more and more disturbing (but always funny). The mind behind it was Alan Resnick, digital and visual artist and filmmaker. He’s done several things for Adult Swim, including the absurdist This House Has People In It.
Written and directed by Peter Capaldi (aka Malcolm Tucker, aka Dr Who), Franz Kafka’s It’s A Wonderful Life was written in 1993 for BBC Scotland and won a Bafta and Academy Award. Starring Richard E Grant (Withnail, of course, like you didn’t know), it tells the humorous story of Franz Kafka’s attempt to write The Metamorphosis despite numerous interruptions.
This is, no exaggeration, one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read. I follow the author on facebook as well and, seriously, her status updates are miniature masterpieces.
Jennifer charts her non-linear journey from reclusive childhood to Portland artist with description as biting as William Burroughs and prose as rich as Anais Nin, but also completely unique. Sometimes she just remembers a character from her past, sometimes a full anecdote, sometimes she’s just looking at people on the bus, but all are beautiful. How can you not be fascinated by an intro like this:
“My directives, as established at seventeen—to experience real emotion, real contact with other people, all of the things you only learn by sucking cock, smoking rock, climbing cliffs, sleeping in catacombs, getting pregnant, and making a lot of mistakes—were fully enforced at this time. Within a year of my arrival I was playing in an electronic noise band. On and off-stage, we made—or perhaps “were”—performance art.”
I have genuinely never laughed so loudly and consistently at a book. If you’re unfamiliar with Tommy Wiseau’s complete mess of a film The Room, first of all where have you been, and second please watch it right now. Our fascination with it is hard to explain to people who don’t love terrible films. Example conversation with a friend:
Friend: Are you coming to Ian’s later?
Me: Yep. I’m bringing The Room
Friend: What? Not again. I’ve got Lolita at home, I’ll bring that
Me: Noooo, I can watch a good film anytime. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MEEE!!!
And so on. Greg is the guy who played Mark (Oh, hi Mark) and he recounts the complete debacle from beginning to end including the first time he met Tommy and the events that led to his making the film. What elevates this above merely poking fun at an eccentric is the genuine level of affection – though sometimes tested – and desire to understand Tommy. He’s not a monster, he has real feelings and a desperate need to be an actor, and perhaps another reason we enjoy The Room is his sheer determination to make that happen. As Greg says, “The Room is a drama that is also a comedy that is also an existential cry for help that is finally a testament to human endurance.”
There is a film coming out, called The Masterpiece, based on this book. I, for one, will be watching it.
Everything Wrong With The Room In 8 Minutes Or Less:
“Please allow me to introduce myself. I am a peacock without a cause, I am a piece of transcendent trash – a futile blast of colour in a futile colourless world.”
If Sebastian had been born in the 1800s he would be one of those sons paid by their wealthy family to stay away. He crashes through life like a mixture of Byron and Withnail, rarely likeable but always interesting, an artist who’s biggest art piece was himself.
On a whim he goes diving with sharks, has a fling with gangster Jimmy Boyle, bets on the stock exchange and becomes horribly addicted to heroin and crack. When he has money he doesn’t respect it, when he doesn’t he’s desperate. He makes no excuses for shoplifting and generally being a louche, entitled rich boy and if he did I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed reading him as much. He died aged 47 of a suspected overdose.
(Be warned, I suspect he says things because he likes to be ‘shocking’):
Yes, yes, there’s the Houses of Parliament and Trafalgar Square blah blah. Where are the corpses? A common cry, and one this book would like to answer.
Beneath the respectable layer of London’s past is a hidden world of information, such as the peculiar shrub in Chelsea Physic Garden that gave John Wyndham the idea for Day of the Triffids, St. Sepulchre’s watch house in Holborn (built to keep an eye out for grave diggers), the Haymarket cat opera (exactly how it sounds) or the leftover ‘snob screens’ in The Lamb pub which protected delicate wealthy eyes from the sight of the common man.
It’s separated into districts so you can have a flick through next time you go to London and see what’s about. If you’d like to see a bit more of weird London via a guide have a look at this spooky tour we embarked upon for Halloween.
A cavalcade of truly terrible films, this collection takes you from Maniac ‘director’ Dwain Esper‘s exploitation efforts, through fifties B movies to nonsensical modern day fare. Some of the descriptions made me chuckle out loud, particularly in the WTF section.
If monster movies are your thing, or perhaps overseas oddities, each film has been separated into categories ( I like categories, don’t I? I never realised that before), making it easier to dip in according to mood. Enjoy!
Madeleine Swann 