Seasons change and so do greetings cards and present ideas. Mostly…
They’re here!
Merry Halloween my little apple carts, may all your disturbing dreams come true and your stomachs explode with sugary delights. I asked people to send me their own crappypastas, which are terribly written internet horror stories. Enjoy!
The writers are:
Welcome to my Halloween video bonanza for October. First up is a perfect example of what happens when I do a DIY – it progressively becomes a failure.
Bill and I had a go at a spooky cobweb cake which is meant to look something like this:
But I think we can all agree our final result is… a bit different. However, it tasted amazing and was probably the nicest cake I’ve ever made, and I have made a few despite appearances.
See you next week!
Just over a month to Halloween!
If you’re creatively inclined with your hands (I’m really not, everything handy I try to do comes out looking a little depressed) maybe you can have a go at this insane horror illusion make up for Halloween. Some people make it look so easy, and SammyLovesFossas is one of those people.
Here’s a Matrioshka (Russian dolls) effect:
Eye Popping Make Up:
The Last of Us:
Human Gruel facepaint:
Ghost facepaint:
Honestly there’s so much more, please visit her channel for more amazingness. See you soon!
Hello!
It’s almost summer and the flowers are sprouting, which is the best time to remind ourselves that nature is the weirdest thing you’ll ever experience. As you can tell from previous posts, I love weird nature and creepy creatures, they’re brilliant prompts for stories, but today I shall focus solely on those life forms that were here long before us and will remain when we’re gone – plants.
The Bleeding Tooth Fungus: We’ll start with something really grotesque because you can handle it, you’re grown ups with eyes of steel. The Bleeding Tooth Fungus apparently isn’t poisonous but has a very bitter taste rendering it inedible. Doesn’t it make you hungry though? It reminds me of jam. 
It lurks mostly in North American forests but has been spotted elsewhere. The ooze (or sap, if you want to be all sciencey about it) is sometimes yellow (mmm, pus) pink, beige or orange.
Bleeding Tooth Fungus: In French With English text
Angel Trumpet: 
The very epitome of a wolf in sheep’s clothing, these South American plants appear heavenly but are said to have a darker secret than an Edgar Allen Poe character.
They contain atropine, hyoscyamine and scopolamine, the last of which can apparently be used to alter another person’s state of mind, or create ‘zombies.’ I don’t personally know how true these claims are, much of it sounds a little over-hyped, but cases exist where the plant has been blamed for causing a hypnotic state, such as in the victims of a trio of thieves arrested in Paris who ‘willingly’ handed over possessions. However it’s unclear whether scopolamine can actually remove free will.
World’s Scariest Drug
Rafflesia Flower: We all know of the Titan Arum corpse flower and it’s scent of rotting corpses, but perhaps slightly less known in some parts is the Rafflesia from Southeastern Asia, also known as the corpse flower. Confused? Good.
It’s a parasite which latches onto the roots of a host plant. It’s innards stink of decomposing flesh to attract the flies it feeds on. Naturally, with all this going for it, it’s the official state flower of Indonesia (?).
Devil’s Fingers: Mistaken online for an alien life form the Devil’s Fingers fungus, or Octopus Stinkhorn, is truly rather strange.
Growing mostly in Britain it bursts from an other-wordly sack to release it’s foul stench (for attracting flies) into the world.
Devil’s Fingers Time Lapse
Clitoria: 
The scientist who named this beauty certainly wasn’t shy. He/she saw a flower that looked like it had a clitoris and called it as it was.
Another native of Southeast Asia, this flower is used as food dye or eaten deep fried. Others have historically attempted to give it less ‘controversial’ names but they never stuck because, let’s face facts, it looks like a fanny.
Dracula Orchids: 
With a name evoking the undead you would expect these flowers from Central America to look creepy but they’re actually quite cute, if you like monkey faces. Slightly judgmental monkey faces.
Being Orchids these are cultivated by fanciers for their beauty and rarity. They were named Dracula because of the red colour displayed by some.
There we have it my little summer popsicles. Go, now, and frolic amongst the monkey faced fields and corpse laden air. I’ll be watching.
Hello! Merry almost Valentine’s Day. I’m not one for hearts and cuddly toys so I was happily surprised with an Alice In Wonderland tea set and home made cakes – including a rainbow cake – from Bill Purnell. Coincidentally he also does a lot of my book covers, have a look at his site.
As a weird fiction and bizarro author I’ve always loved Alice In Wonderland, it was the first time I realised things could be surreal. So feast your eyes upon today’s amazingness, and happy Valentine to you all.
Merry Egg Day!!! Come join in the frivolity of scary bunnies and multi-eyed eggs, and may you never leave…
We begin proceedings with my favourite nail lady ProfessionalDQ doing psycho rabbits and scary chicks. Visit her channel for brilliants upon brilliantses and never feel sad again: That’s a 100 per cent guarantee from Dr Quack:
Still not dark enough for your nail bunny needs? Try some grotesquely evil circus rabbits:
Rather sweet tutorial on painting multi-eyed, cobwebbed horror eggs:
What’s better than the Easter Bunny? A zombie Easter Bunny. The sound is quite bad but bear with her:
Alternatively if you still wish to pursue your rabbit dreams but the zombie is too much, here’s a DIY on becoming Alice in Wonderland’s acquaintance:
More rabbits! Make your own gothic cuddly rabbit. The actual tutorial seems to start about three minutes in, so you might want to skip ahead…
There we have it! Merry Easter and watch out for those murderous egg wielding beasties
This nail lady is brilliant! Visit her youtube channel here and see what other stuff you can find. In the meantime here are a few Valentine’s Day tutorials from Professional DQ:
Voodoo and hearts? Of course!
Pirates and hearts? Why not!
Skulls and hearts? Hooray!
Black and white striped gothic hearts? Woo hoo!
More gothic hearts? Goodness!
Sparkly pink heart pendant (but still cool, don’t panic)
My search for disturbing and gruesome cake continues (well, it passes the time) with this upcoming installation in Standalone Farm in Letchworth Garden City, London, from Oct 29 to Nov 1.
Creepy cake maker Miss Cakehead will treat attendees to the inside of her disturbing mind and taste buds. The press release says:
“The event combines live horror action with cake for the first ever time, creating an incredible terrifying edible experience the likes of which have never been seen before. The family farm attraction taken over by renowned creative and food art curator Miss Cakehead for a special event targeted strictly at older teenagers and adults which features some of the world’s most infamous cake makers.
Red Riding Hood chasing you through the woods and the remains of the three slaughtered little pigs strung up and dripping ‘blood’ (strawberry sauce) are just some of the CAKE treats in store for you when the mistress of macabre cake takes over Letchworth Garden City’s Standalone Farm every night from the 29th October to the 1st November. Cakeageddon – the World’s first edible horror farm – will be extreme gruesome cake at its most terrifying.
Scattered around the farm will be a series of large scale cake installations which brave visitors will be able to tuck into if there dare… There will be plenty of nasty surprises in store as they go on their cake-walk though the night… Even the children’s play barn on the farm is touched by Miss Cakehead’s twisted mind, taken over by a nightmarish edible creation of Animal Farm.”
Well who wouldn’t want to go? I know I do! Below is a video of Miss Cakehead and previous scary confectionary projects. Enjoy!
Hello! Here’s a little video I made for Halloween, just a story I wrote with some local footage I filmed. Enjoy!
For all your weird art, fashion and other eyeball needs, visit this one stop gathering together of shops, Who Killed Bambi?
Need any anatomical heart hats? Look no further!
Want to surprise your partner with skeleton underpants? This is the place!
Not only that but photography, performance and visual art and music and toys and BKWOOOOHH (I exploded).
Below is a rather upsetting video by Banksy:
Madeleine Swann 