For only 99 cents you too – yes you – can read my naughty historical werewolf story ‘The Woods in Winter‘ on taboo-ridden site forbiddenfiction.com.
It’s rude and there are spooky bits. What’s not to like? Look, that couple over there are reading it, and they own yachts. Read it here.
Warning: Over 18s only.
So I heard that St Valentine was actually a murderer and didn’t like children, and when he opened a bag of crisps he didn’t even offer the packet to anyone else, and if he walked through a muddy field he couldn’t even be bothered to wipe his feet when he went round someone’s house.
Today I shall be going on a date with my friend Rachel to see Woman in Black. I love the book so Daniel Radcliffe had better have taken some acting lessons. I’m sure he will be very good.
If myself or Rachel overhear any couples even thinking about talking near us we’re going to stand, point and scream a la Invasion of the Body Snatchers (70s version).
So just to get everyone in the mood, here’s a festive animation from David Firth of fat-pie.com.
Warning: please do not watch if you’re easily offended.