Pre-order 50s set horror anthology containing me

Don’t be a silly billy, you want to pre-order the 50s Americana set horror anthology containing my story otherwise you’ll awake each night to me staring at you through the window. Come on, no-one wants to go through that again: http://krakenpress.bigcartel.com/product/american-nightmare

book cover

Heroin, dating and popularity: life the 50s infomercial way

I don’t know what it is about these videos that makes me chuckle so, but they really do. Some of them are quite sweet, some are bordeline offensive, and for a happy life all require you to be middle class and white.

First is Choosing For Happiness, a film where Eve is slowly made to realise that her mostly quite valid concerns should be squashed if she’s to have anyone put up with her:

Next up is that quandry that faces us all, how to be a square without our friends hating us! Moral Maturity shows us.

Now the opposite end of the spectrum, Drug Addiction. What happens when one suddenly finds themselves addicted to heroin? The particularly clunky dialogue in this one really makes me laugh:

Here Woody shows us how to ask for a date in Dating Dos and Don’ts (made in 1947 but still counts). Wow, that girl is a bitch, is he sure he wants to go with her?

And now he shows us how to make girls angry when you drop them off

Here’s another clip considering the problems of How to Date:

Finally, the all important concern: Are You Popular? All the boys are happy to park with Jenny but apparently this doesn’t make her popular the next day. Dammit, I knew I was doing something wrong!

Bizarre fashion predictions from the distant past (some intentional, some not)

Well hello! Icicles hang from the trees outside (unless you’re in Australia, in which case I still can’t get my head round your weather, now sort it out). With the festive party season drawing near I’m sure everyone is wondering what to wear, and as I may have mentioned I love unusual and alternative fashion.

Why not take the old advice and learn from history? They appear to have had a spooky pre-knowledge for what the catwalks of today hold.

Before Lady Gaga was even a concept of a twinkle in the eye, this bacon sporting Bacongentleman from 1894 and hardware displaying banner-girllady from the 1890s were strutting the streets. Of course, the man is taking part in a fancy dress party and the lady is a ‘banner woman’ for a hardware shop, but this diminishes nothing.

This 1917 May Queen must have seen My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding in her sleep: May

Next up Big Brother was watching the Georgians long before Orwell or (sigh) that TV programme that will not end.

Apparently owning a small framed picture of someone’s eye on your person was quite in vogue, though they had very different meanings in France and England.

To the French it symbolised watchfulness, whereas to the English it was usually a token of love: georgian-eye-jewellery

OK enough fannying about (it’s an English expression in case you’re unfamiliar), now for the serious stuff.

These billiant predictions appeared in The Strand magazine (very prestigious London publication) in 1893.

They’re all fascinating and the designers have used the past as inspiration. I fashion-predictionsrecommend you have a jaunt on over to the original post of this even if you don’t the others, but I think this one obscurely deciding that society will form a medieval circus is my favourite:

Finally I absolutely love this news item from the 1930s. Designers collaborated to predict what we would be wearing in 2000. Ooh, swish!

Get ready for Halloween

Want to make zombie cupcakes? How about a monster? Or just want to look your spookiest? Here we are with a platter of enough gooey gore to keep you satisfied on All Hallows Eve.

1. Zombie fingers.

Over on one of my favourite blogs, The Year Of Halloween, is a recipe for zombie finger cupcakes by Amy, Queen of the Muffin Pan. The Halloween site is a wealth of spooky custumes, art and films so I suggest you have a peek.

To make the cakes you will need:

  • One box of cornbread muffin mix
  • Cocktail weenies or breakfast sausage links
  • Pepitas (pumpkin seeds)
  • Spinach or Kale
  • Green Chilies

For a full recipe visit the blog post.

2. Make your own monster.

If I squint my eyes he looks like Robert Downey Jr

Need help scaring those kids? Or just feeling lonely and need someone to hug on those long, winter nights? Well, look no further.

Over on blog Loony Literature are instructions on making your own monster. It seems all you need are old clothes, bathroom decorations and bubble wrap. What are you waiting for?

3. Cobweb nails.

Barry M Cobweb Effect

It was my birthday recently and I am now the proud owner of several new nail varnishes from Barry M. I love them so much it turns me back into the child who preferred playing with make up rather than wearing it. One of them is the Limited Edition Cobweb design. Hurry up, those nails won’t scare people themselves!

Below are a couple of how-to videos and spooky make-up tutorials. Merry Halloween and may the Night of the Walking  Dead be a pleasant one. Or at least one where your face isn’t eaten. Farewell!

Cheers everyone – My recent Halloween birthday