Camp Court TV: Joan Collins V Round House Publishing

Merry new day to you all! I was much amused by this unexpectedly fascinating documentary, essentially the most entertaining bits of the trial of Joan Collins (she of the shoulder pads, 80s soap operas and 70s British horror movies) vs her publisher Round House.

As the info for the doc says on YouTube, watch out for the grey haired lady who seems confused over whether she’s in a courtroom or doing stand up. See also Joan Collins prepare for battle in her best early 90s war garb.

It’s an aspect of publishing we don’t often think about, the possibility of being sued for doing a terrible job. Is it even fair? The court must decide…

Nonsensical Interview With Me In Clash Magazine

I’ve gone post mad this week! Normal business of talking about other people will be resumed shortly, never fear. However I’d like to share with you this interview I did yesterday.

It’s completely daft and doesn’t tell anyone a thing about me, but I did laugh a lot while replying to each question so it’s possible you might too. Or not, but I suppose you won’t know until you look.

Enjoy!

Novel, novella, short story? The word count difference in writing

Two posts in one day? Have the clocks been destroyed? Has my face melted into an Escher painting?

Word count is something that worries all writers or, if not, it probably should. Is it a novella? A short story? A microwaveable napkin?

OK, so for some definitive answers I suggest you trundle onto this post here by D. Robert Grixti, and it is definitely recommended – by me anyway, and what higher authority is there?

Troubles with publishing, rights, contracts and legalities

Having read a post this morning about an editor at Undead Press not only proofing a writer’s story badly but adding significant bits that weren’t there before, I was reminded of a time when I had problems.

I’ve been very fortunate to find a home for much of my erotica focused stories on ForbiddenFiction.com as they’ve been very helpful and professional, ensuring the writers get as much rights to money as possible, but I haven’t always had that experience.

When you’re new and you’ve just had a short story accepted its easy to sign a contract and just be happy. However, as I was advised by ForbiddenFiction, always make sure the editor’s full legal name and address are on the contract, and check what kind of publishing rights you’re agreeing to. Also a contract for an ‘indefinate period of time’ is not helpful and nor is having all your emails ignored when you try to speak to somebody. The length of time for the contract should have an actual number of months/years, and there should also be an intended publishing date.

I was once young and naive like a spring lamb, but after being shown the boiling pot I realised I could no longer say I was ‘only a writer and didn’t have to think about these things.’ Its boring and confusing, but very important.

Good luck my little pepperoni slices, may fortune and new socks reign upon your ankles.

The business side of getting published

If you’re writing letters and sending chapters/screenplays/er, anything else out to agents then of course you need a copy of The Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook. I also stumbled across this post on the Limebird Writer’s site and thought some might find it useful.

Here’s what they said (original post here). Now if you’ll excuse me I need to sink back into bed with my ear infection and Red Dwarf:

“When it comes to writing an agent’s submission, amongst other things your cover letter will need to include the following key information:

– The genre and target audience for your book

– A concise summary of what this book is about – its overall theme and the central plotline i.e. why is your target audience going to love this book!

If you have one, think about your current work-in-progress. Imagine by some strange chance you find yourself sitting next to an agent actively looking to take on new writers in your genre (and as this is make-believe of course they’d be happy to wait until you’ve finished it). You’re two minutes away from the train’s final destination (eurgh after those nasty films that sounds so ominous, but I’m just talking about Kings Cross, or your main terminal here!) and this is your big chance to pitch your work.

Nervousness aside, how well-equipped are you to give them exactly the information they need to be able to identify the one piece of information all agents are looking for – is this book marketable?

A few years ago when I worked as a commercial market researcher I did a lot of research for a partwork publisher who’d set up a new venture to create children’s book series. They knew it was series that made money rather than stand-alone books so that was their start point. We did a research mapping exercise for them, exploring children’s reading habits and what they found engaging in books. They then did workshops with professional writers to collaboratively create a number of concepts for new book series. We researched these with children using depths and discussion groups and fed back which concepts had appeal, and options for developing them. Following the first wave of research they developed a book series, paid the writers freelance rates to write it, put a young handsome face to it as ‘the author’ (one of their execs) and launched it. It won two awards and was long listed for another in its first year. Since then they have placed more than a dozen children’s book series with children’s publishers.

I loved the research; I absolutely despised them for what they were doing! All the while I was doing their research, in my free time I was labouring on my writing – taking an idea and developing it into a plot, setting, characters. Writing for the love of literature. Writing a book is a creative exercise, not a mercenary business pursuit! I’d just finished my adult contemporary literature novel and I sent it out to three agents, two of whom requested a full submission. One rejected with a “Not for me, but best of luck,” the other rejected with the suggestion that I re-write it for young adults. Since then I’ve re-written it for YA and I’ve changed the protagonist from boy to girl…and back to boy again but it doesn’t get over the fundamental issue that the concept underpinning the novel is intriguing and the first third of the book is great, but then it stagnates as the plot can’t carry the concept. I don’t know if I’ll ever re-finish it. I’ve worked on numerous things since, none of which have made it to market.

Out of sheer stubbornness I refused to apply what I’d learnt doing this research to my own writing. You do not write by numbers … but you can’t argue that they’ve had huge success while I’m still just an aspiring writer! Okay so they have the huge advantage of existing publishing links, but rather than taking a labour of love to publishers (warts and all – and you have to admit, us writers do make a lot of mistakes in our work that we’re just too close to the novel to recognise) they’re taking a viable, appealing business plan.

I’m tempted to be mischievous and suggest we follow the principals of the partwork venture just to see the outraged comments and abuse that you throw my way in response! But in all seriousness, there is a business to publishing and being conscious of this from the start can only be an advantage. An agent isn’t going to want to take on a book that has no clear target audience or ‘hook’. I know it’s tempting to leave all the detail until you’ve finished (which is what I always do!), but thinking about this from the onset could have a huge impact on the resulting book.

This doesn’t mean curb your creativity or make the book’s marketing your start point. Of course not! As a writer your novel has to come from the creative space inside your head and your heart that tells you about the world and its characters you’re about to create, a world that unfolds piece by piece into your final novel. But if you do want to be businesslike about this, why not pause after that initial creative spark and think about the end result? Why not force yourself to think about who this book is for? What are my readers’ needs? How would I pitch this book to an agent? When I recently wrote about planning on my personal blog, limebird friend Kourtney Heintz had the great idea of writing your agent submission (cover letter and synopsis) at the start to really focus your mind on what you’re trying to do with your novel (and noooooooooo I don’t mean, “This is going to be the next Hunger Games!”). Of course that will change and need completely re-writing at the end, but it does help you identify what your core themes are.

It may well be you hate this suggestion and don’t even want to think about how to position your book until you’ve finished with the creativity of writing it. That’s fair enough and I should think this is how the majority of writers of first-time authors have completed their work! But at the same time when it came to pitching their books they must have been able to identify a clear target audience and engaging premise. I hope that all of you will be able to do that regardless of when you shape your thinking on these issue, but for me, I think with my next novel I’m going to think about this fairly early on in the process. What harm can it do!”

Professional tips

I found the first post shared here on Limebird Writer‘s site, and the second on the Creative and Professional Writer’s site.

Some of it’s fairly straight-forward but its easy to lose focus on simple things you need to remember ie. who your story is aimed at.

I’m going to own up to not being thick skinned; I’ve got thinner skin than… uh… a bat’s wing. It’s really thin skin apparently, I just checked. But…I always try to be ragingly polite no matter what and after half an hour of ‘woe is me,’ for some reason I just get on with it like a fool.

So anyway, here is Limebird Writer’s post:

 

I’ve been a professional writer for a fair while now, and in that time I’ve seen a number of people come and go. What most people don’t realise is that professional writing requires a far greater range of skills than merely ‘putting words on a page’. For a start, it requires superb organisation and an ability to produce quality content to a tight deadline. Writers also need to demonstrate a good working knowledge of their market, while proving themselves adaptable enough to write for any number of different audiences.

Think you’ve got what it takes?  Here are my tips for anyone hoping to start a career as a professional writer:

Get organised. Organisation is everything in professional writing. I really can’t overstate this enough. You can be the greatest writer in the world, but if you don’t know what it is you need to write, when you need to write it, and who you need to write it for, then you’re very quickly going to find yourself struggling.

Master your art. If your writing skills are going to earn you money, your grammar needs to be impeccable, and your proof-reading needs to be second to none. Not only should you be able to proof other people’s work, but you should also be able to proof your own!

Know your market. It doesn’t matter who you’re writing for, you need to know your market inside out. The more you know, the more you will be able to “bring to the table” as a writer. If you don’t know your market, it won’t take long before the cracks start to appear.

Prepare to sweat. Writing professionally is not easy. Nor is it well paid. Most of us do it because we love to write, or perhaps because we see it as a route to greater things. I tell you this now – if you want to be a professional writer, do not, I beg you, be under any illusions as to just how tough it is. If you want to earn the big bucks, I suggest you do something else.

Toughen up. Writing is tough. Writing for other people is tougher still. When it comes to writing on behalf of someone else very often you will find that it doesn’t matter how good your writing, or how well your work meets the criteria you were given, if the client doesn’t like it, the client doesn’t like it. As a writer, you work “at the coal face”. This means you take all the abuse, and receive very few of the plaudits. You know how the old saying goes: “If you can’t stand the heat…”

Get educated (or not!) You might be surprised to learn that you don’t need an English degree to be a writer. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that I’d almost recommend you don’t have one, though that’s an issue for another blog!

So… do you still think you have what it takes? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.

Until next time,

Mike”

 

And here is the Creative and Professional Writer’s post:

“5 tips for writing short stories

Short stories are a difficult art form to get right. Put too much in, and you’ll overload your reader with redundant information and they’ll get bored. Leave too much out, and you’ll alienate your reader and make them feel like there’s an abstract message they’re too stupid to pick up on. Get it just right however, and you’ll have an emotive, gripping, yet sparse narrative that captures a moment perfectly. Here are 5 things that any short story writer should think about before getting stuck in:

1. Show. Don’t tell.

It is important that you write in a way that allows your reader to experience your character’s actions, feelings, senses, words and thoughts, rather than learn them through description or summary within the narrative. By understanding this, your story will be vivid and relatable throughout.

2. Know your character(s)

People are complex, unpredictable and unique. It is your job as a writer of short stories to make sure that we as readers understand this about your characters without you simply telling us. A helpful task that will make this much easier is to build a web about your characters every detail. Age, personality, appearance, past, job, relationships and more. As much as you can. Fill a page with things that you wouldn’t even consider putting into a story. This is just for you. The better you know your character, the more convincing they’re going to be.

3. Choose your point of view

Who do you want telling your story? What is the narrative voice that you’re looking for? This will have a huge impact on the direction of your story. All perspectives have their pros and cons and it’s up to you to choose which one fits what you want to say.

• First person unites the narrator and reader with secrets and perceptions, but is always an unreliable perspective and can also lead to ‘telling’.
• Second person puts the readers right in to the story. They become the character, and are immediately engaged to confront possibilities. It is, however, vital that your character’s actions are real enough for readers to image themselves doing.
• Third person can be omniscient or limited, and allows you to be as intimate or distant with your character as you like. However, this is the most difficult perspective for maintaining a consistent narrative voice.

4. Create conflict/tension

With a short story you don’t have the luxury of acres of space to build a setting or context. This makes it more difficult to create conflict/tension within a certain scenario. You need some sort of opposition to your character. This can be against another individual, nature, society, God or even the character themselves. Make it clear exactly what the opposition is within your story, and understand exactly what your character hopes to achieve. Your prose style can also help create tension. Short, sharp sentences alongside longer sentences can really help dictate the pace and overall tone of your work.

5. Don’t ‘spoon-feed’ your reader

Subtlety is a key feature in short story writing. A reader wants to interpret your work in their own way and don’t mind a bit of ambiguity within the plot or character. Ernest Hemingway developed his ‘Iceberg theory’ as a way of helping writers understand that hinting to something within a narrative, rather than clarifying it completely can allow someone to read between the lines. He said:

If a writer of prose knows enough about what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows and the reader, if the writer is writing truly enough, will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them.

Subtext encourages a reader to take a more active role in a story and it is important not to ‘spoon feed’ the reader detail that, if written well, they can work out for themselves. It is important, however, not to be too abstract. There is a fine line between ambiguity and obscurity. Make sure that your hints are tangible to connect with reader.”

Et voila. Please do some writing now, otherwise you will upset me.

Submit Yourself: A Submissions Calendar is a Smart Idea

Stumbled across this calendar of endless possibilities on the Litreactor site just now (original article here). It’s a handy little monthly submissions guide to time-restricted publications. Before you read may I just make the personal assertion that I don’t believe in submission fees:

 

Whether you’re looking to make it big with a book you’re sure is a best-seller, or you’re just interested in breaking through with a few bylines in lit journals that your mother can frame and put on the ‘fridge, one of the biggest hurdles is to know where to even send your work–and when.

Sure, going through a literary agent is obviously the easiest way to get your pieces in front of important eyes–but even getting an agent to represent you can be a huge challenge, particularly if you haven’t had a lot published. Which means it’s smart to also have, on hand, a list of places where you can submit unsolicited work throughout the year, in hopes of beefing up your portfolio.

But because accepting unsolicited work is, well, a lot of work, many journals, publishers, and magazines have limited time-frames during which they do all of their reading and deciding. So it’s smart to keep a Google Calendar or some other sort of digital log of who you’re aiming to submit to, what the due-dates are for submissions, and also a link to the requirements.

Here are a few places that accept unsolicited novels, stories, collections, and poems to get your submissions calendar rolling.

January

Get a running start with a few places that take submissions all year long.

Boyd Mills Press, out of Pennsylvania, is a small-ish press that accepts submissions of children’s and young adult books all the time, so you can send them your work as soon as it’s been proofread.

Electric Literature is an awesome short-story producing new-media magazine that gives print space to some of America’s freshest young talent. Submit your boldest and brightest, whenever you like.

Another most excellent (and highly selective) publication that will take your work all year is PANK Magazine, which publishes exciting, quirky, awesome poetry; short stories; and other forms of text. Check their website to see what they’re cooking up.

February

The Portland Review is a fun collective of writers and editors who publish (usually) around 3 times per year. They almost always have a beginning-of-the-year submission period, but will take what you send them most all the time. They also have a very cute and inspiring blog that I like very, very much. And, they use Submishmash, which makes it easy to track all of your entries.

March

Need a little seed money to start the year? The Oberon Poetry Magazine accepts contest submissions in the Spring (usually March or April) and awards $1,000 for the judge’s favorite.

April

Vagabondage Press’ literary quarterly, The Battered Suitcase, accepts fiction, non-fiction and poetry, but not criticisms or book reviews. They’re looking for previously unpublished authors who are interested in getting their name out there, so all levels of experience are encouraged to submit.

May

Founded by poetic dreamboat Derrick Brown, Write Bloody Publishing is rapidly establishing something of a cult following. Each year, they invite writers to send samples for short story or poetry collections, and select 7 to receive a book deal. A book deal! Their submission window is almost always in May, and almost always gets pushed back.

June

It’s pretty rare that you get personal feedback on your submissions– but Our Stories takes the time. They also offer prize money. There is a submission fee, but for many, that’s a much better trade off than receiving a stock letter of acceptance. Their submission period usually begins in Spring, but Summer is a slow literary season, so this one can get bumped down to less busy times.

July

Summer is really, really boring in publishing. Use July as your catch-up month for all of those year-round places.

August

No, really. Take the summer to write whatever you like. Relax and write. Put it on your calendar.

September

Tin House Magazine is a respected literary publication that accepts short stories and essays between Sept. 1 and May 31, which is a nice wide window. They have some themed publications, so check their website to see if you’re on-topic.

October

The Avatar Review accepts poetry, prose, and pretty much anything, beginning in October. They publish just once per year, and their main goal is to get unpublished authors their first exposure. Think of it a bit like really nice training wheels.

November

Some places have two submission periods per year, which offers a nice bit of flexibility. Memoir (and) is one of those places, and is also a really great publication. The November submission period runs through February, and they’ll consider just about everything you send them, so go ahead and write your heart out.

December

December is actually just the best time to wrap up any and all submissions that you’ve had sitting around. Instead of adding December-specific ones, I’ll redirect you back up to January.


Of course, there are hundreds of journals, magazines, quarterlies and publishers who take submissions throughout the year, and depending on your genre of choice, some will be a better fit than others. But whomever you decide to grace with your work, having firm-ish deadlines inked out ahead of time is a smart way to hit the ground writing.”

I think that says it all! Hop to it or the beating hand gets angry.

Getting Started: How to get your short stories published

Word Crushes, a blog for young adult writers, has posted an entry I wrote for them featuring advice for others just starting out. I love how I sound like I know what I’m talking about! This is an amalgamation of shortened blog entries in which I learned valuable lessons, just like a Hollywood film.

I’m a fairly new writer. I’ve had some articles and short stories published but I’ve still got a long way to go and I appreciate how hard it is to get started. Perhaps this sounds as though I should live in a commune but I really think it’s important for writers, especially other new and confused ones, to share what they’ve learned, so this is for you. Join my wild ride!

When I send off short stories I can spend a very long time looking through endless lists of magazines and websites that publish them, and one place I go to is The Short Story . A few of the publications are no longer with us but enough are, and there are sections full of advice and competitions as well. Some people may disagree with this but I’m quite dubious of anything asking for entry money so I tend to avoid those. Plus I have no money. Don’t forget of course to purchase The Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook, it’s invaluable.

Set up a website and join social networking. Most people already have, but if you haven’t I can’t tell you how useful I’ve found it. Through Facebook I started talking to a comic publisher, and now I’ve got a horror story coming out with them at the end of the year. If you have a website it can make you look so much more professional (or alternative, whichever your preferred aesthetic). I made a couple of comedy adverts for my site and put them on youtube, mostly to amuse myself but also to let people see my personality, which is hugely important. Just remember, if you put a photo of yourself on your homepage make sure you don’t look insane, unless that’s your intention.

I’ve heard this so many times I need to say it just to be sure you all know too: conflict needs to be set up for your character fairly early on. Beautiful description is great but readers appreciate it more when they’re dying to find out what happens. I always try to make sure the opening line of everything I write has a huge impact, even in a small way; people decide whether to continue reading at all based on those first few words.

I’m not a fan of how-to books at all but I found How NOT to Write a Novel by Sandra Newman and Howard Mittelmark very useful and very funny. At first I was embarrassed at reading all my mistakes laid bare, but once you get over the initial cringe it’s full of great tips, and the principals mostly work for short stories too. I tend to get a coke in a pub to do research because I need noise to think – I know, weirdo – and I was laughing out loud. People were looking.

I always think getting involved with local things is a great idea. We have an arts festival in Essex and I’m doing three different performances. Sometimes you might have to be pushy and I know it doesn’t suit everyone, but you really never know who’ll see you or who you’ll get talking to. If you make a fool of yourself, it’ll at least be a memory you and your friends can laugh about.

Lastly, have other people read your stuff. Maybe even read it aloud to people – people who won’t just say ‘that’s good.’ You need to grit your teeth and let it be read by someone you know is honest. There are tons of online workshops, so join a free one. I personally use Critique Circle.

So here we are; my thoughts on getting started in writing. Hopefully you’ve found it dizzyingly informative, but if you have any helpful suggestions for me I’d really like to hear them because sharing is the way of caring. Or something.

Wait… There’s more: a few useful links:

http://newpages.com/literary-magazines/
http://www.pw.org/literary_magazines?apage=*
http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~lcrew/pbonline.html
http://www.duotrope.com/
http://litlist.net/online_journals
http://www.litmags.org/list.php