New book – The Filing Cabinet of Doom and other stories

What’s that? An entire book filled with stuff from my brain? Wow, where can I purchase such a thing?!

Well, worry no more. With just a few clicks of the button you too can be a proud owner of my words (and technically the words of Burning Bulb Publishing). If you’re from the UK you can purchase on the kindle from here, or on paperback via here, or if you’re American you could buy them here or here. If you are from elsewhere, I apologise for not including your Amazon links. I hope we can still be friends. filing-cabinet-of-doom-madeleine-swann

Surreal short story published: ‘A Piece Worth Millions’

Well hello there, never thought I’d see you again. Are you still doing those paintings? Yes, I’ve met someone much better than you. Oh, who am I kidding, come back to me! The nights are so lonely…

Anyway…I’ve had a short story published in issue 10 of Polluto Magazine, which describes itself thusly:

Polluto is the award-winning literary magazine from Dog Horn Publishing. Since 2008 we have been scouring the dark, twisted and just plain weird corners of the world for the kind of writing that we love.”

Can’t say fairer than that eh, and as it’s a lovely foggy day in England (hopefully it is everywhere, but somehow the law of averages says I’m wrong) I suggest you pop over here to have a look. My story is the one about a ‘human life claimed for art.’

Short story: Sweet Sweets Emporium

I’ve a new short story, Sweet Sweets Emporium, out with LegumeMan Books who are described thusly:

LegumeMan Books is an independent press devoted to extreme and/or unusual fiction for extreme and/or unusual people. Run by the Brothers Gunther and operating out of Melbourne, Australia, our aim is to represent upcoming authors writing in the abovementioned styles.

We hope to form an ongoing relationship with upcoming authors who write in styles not represented by major publishers.”

Have a read! It has sweeties and Nazis, what more could you ask?

Article: How to be a vintage vixen

Pull up a chair and enjoy my latest intallment of articles for ladies with alternative interests on mookychick.co.uk. That’s alternative as in vintage/burlesque/subculture etc, not Adult Babies.

Or I suppose an adult baby could read it, I’m not saying they’re not allowed. Oh dear. Enjoy!

Article: Weird Women of Fiction

Pip pip, what what and other outdated expressions. Have a read of an article of mine on the jolly mookychick website, a place for ladies of alternative interests. Not like bondage. I mean, you know, like corsets and stuff. Wait, is that bondage?

Anyway, here it is, Weird Women of Fiction.

The business side of getting published

If you’re writing letters and sending chapters/screenplays/er, anything else out to agents then of course you need a copy of The Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook. I also stumbled across this post on the Limebird Writer’s site and thought some might find it useful.

Here’s what they said (original post here). Now if you’ll excuse me I need to sink back into bed with my ear infection and Red Dwarf:

“When it comes to writing an agent’s submission, amongst other things your cover letter will need to include the following key information:

– The genre and target audience for your book

– A concise summary of what this book is about – its overall theme and the central plotline i.e. why is your target audience going to love this book!

If you have one, think about your current work-in-progress. Imagine by some strange chance you find yourself sitting next to an agent actively looking to take on new writers in your genre (and as this is make-believe of course they’d be happy to wait until you’ve finished it). You’re two minutes away from the train’s final destination (eurgh after those nasty films that sounds so ominous, but I’m just talking about Kings Cross, or your main terminal here!) and this is your big chance to pitch your work.

Nervousness aside, how well-equipped are you to give them exactly the information they need to be able to identify the one piece of information all agents are looking for – is this book marketable?

A few years ago when I worked as a commercial market researcher I did a lot of research for a partwork publisher who’d set up a new venture to create children’s book series. They knew it was series that made money rather than stand-alone books so that was their start point. We did a research mapping exercise for them, exploring children’s reading habits and what they found engaging in books. They then did workshops with professional writers to collaboratively create a number of concepts for new book series. We researched these with children using depths and discussion groups and fed back which concepts had appeal, and options for developing them. Following the first wave of research they developed a book series, paid the writers freelance rates to write it, put a young handsome face to it as ‘the author’ (one of their execs) and launched it. It won two awards and was long listed for another in its first year. Since then they have placed more than a dozen children’s book series with children’s publishers.

I loved the research; I absolutely despised them for what they were doing! All the while I was doing their research, in my free time I was labouring on my writing – taking an idea and developing it into a plot, setting, characters. Writing for the love of literature. Writing a book is a creative exercise, not a mercenary business pursuit! I’d just finished my adult contemporary literature novel and I sent it out to three agents, two of whom requested a full submission. One rejected with a “Not for me, but best of luck,” the other rejected with the suggestion that I re-write it for young adults. Since then I’ve re-written it for YA and I’ve changed the protagonist from boy to girl…and back to boy again but it doesn’t get over the fundamental issue that the concept underpinning the novel is intriguing and the first third of the book is great, but then it stagnates as the plot can’t carry the concept. I don’t know if I’ll ever re-finish it. I’ve worked on numerous things since, none of which have made it to market.

Out of sheer stubbornness I refused to apply what I’d learnt doing this research to my own writing. You do not write by numbers … but you can’t argue that they’ve had huge success while I’m still just an aspiring writer! Okay so they have the huge advantage of existing publishing links, but rather than taking a labour of love to publishers (warts and all – and you have to admit, us writers do make a lot of mistakes in our work that we’re just too close to the novel to recognise) they’re taking a viable, appealing business plan.

I’m tempted to be mischievous and suggest we follow the principals of the partwork venture just to see the outraged comments and abuse that you throw my way in response! But in all seriousness, there is a business to publishing and being conscious of this from the start can only be an advantage. An agent isn’t going to want to take on a book that has no clear target audience or ‘hook’. I know it’s tempting to leave all the detail until you’ve finished (which is what I always do!), but thinking about this from the onset could have a huge impact on the resulting book.

This doesn’t mean curb your creativity or make the book’s marketing your start point. Of course not! As a writer your novel has to come from the creative space inside your head and your heart that tells you about the world and its characters you’re about to create, a world that unfolds piece by piece into your final novel. But if you do want to be businesslike about this, why not pause after that initial creative spark and think about the end result? Why not force yourself to think about who this book is for? What are my readers’ needs? How would I pitch this book to an agent? When I recently wrote about planning on my personal blog, limebird friend Kourtney Heintz had the great idea of writing your agent submission (cover letter and synopsis) at the start to really focus your mind on what you’re trying to do with your novel (and noooooooooo I don’t mean, “This is going to be the next Hunger Games!”). Of course that will change and need completely re-writing at the end, but it does help you identify what your core themes are.

It may well be you hate this suggestion and don’t even want to think about how to position your book until you’ve finished with the creativity of writing it. That’s fair enough and I should think this is how the majority of writers of first-time authors have completed their work! But at the same time when it came to pitching their books they must have been able to identify a clear target audience and engaging premise. I hope that all of you will be able to do that regardless of when you shape your thinking on these issue, but for me, I think with my next novel I’m going to think about this fairly early on in the process. What harm can it do!”

Short story: The Woods in Winter

For only 99 cents you too – yes you – can read my naughty historical werewolf story ‘The Woods in Winter‘ on taboo-ridden site forbiddenfiction.com.

It’s rude and there are spooky bits. What’s not to like? Look, that couple over there are reading it, and they own yachts. Read it here.

Warning: Over 18s only.

Getting Started: How to get your short stories published

Word Crushes, a blog for young adult writers, has posted an entry I wrote for them featuring advice for others just starting out. I love how I sound like I know what I’m talking about! This is an amalgamation of shortened blog entries in which I learned valuable lessons, just like a Hollywood film.

I’m a fairly new writer. I’ve had some articles and short stories published but I’ve still got a long way to go and I appreciate how hard it is to get started. Perhaps this sounds as though I should live in a commune but I really think it’s important for writers, especially other new and confused ones, to share what they’ve learned, so this is for you. Join my wild ride!

When I send off short stories I can spend a very long time looking through endless lists of magazines and websites that publish them, and one place I go to is The Short Story . A few of the publications are no longer with us but enough are, and there are sections full of advice and competitions as well. Some people may disagree with this but I’m quite dubious of anything asking for entry money so I tend to avoid those. Plus I have no money. Don’t forget of course to purchase The Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook, it’s invaluable.

Set up a website and join social networking. Most people already have, but if you haven’t I can’t tell you how useful I’ve found it. Through Facebook I started talking to a comic publisher, and now I’ve got a horror story coming out with them at the end of the year. If you have a website it can make you look so much more professional (or alternative, whichever your preferred aesthetic). I made a couple of comedy adverts for my site and put them on youtube, mostly to amuse myself but also to let people see my personality, which is hugely important. Just remember, if you put a photo of yourself on your homepage make sure you don’t look insane, unless that’s your intention.

I’ve heard this so many times I need to say it just to be sure you all know too: conflict needs to be set up for your character fairly early on. Beautiful description is great but readers appreciate it more when they’re dying to find out what happens. I always try to make sure the opening line of everything I write has a huge impact, even in a small way; people decide whether to continue reading at all based on those first few words.

I’m not a fan of how-to books at all but I found How NOT to Write a Novel by Sandra Newman and Howard Mittelmark very useful and very funny. At first I was embarrassed at reading all my mistakes laid bare, but once you get over the initial cringe it’s full of great tips, and the principals mostly work for short stories too. I tend to get a coke in a pub to do research because I need noise to think – I know, weirdo – and I was laughing out loud. People were looking.

I always think getting involved with local things is a great idea. We have an arts festival in Essex and I’m doing three different performances. Sometimes you might have to be pushy and I know it doesn’t suit everyone, but you really never know who’ll see you or who you’ll get talking to. If you make a fool of yourself, it’ll at least be a memory you and your friends can laugh about.

Lastly, have other people read your stuff. Maybe even read it aloud to people – people who won’t just say ‘that’s good.’ You need to grit your teeth and let it be read by someone you know is honest. There are tons of online workshops, so join a free one. I personally use Critique Circle.

So here we are; my thoughts on getting started in writing. Hopefully you’ve found it dizzyingly informative, but if you have any helpful suggestions for me I’d really like to hear them because sharing is the way of caring. Or something.

Wait… There’s more: a few useful links:

http://newpages.com/literary-magazines/
http://www.pw.org/literary_magazines?apage=*
http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~lcrew/pbonline.html
http://www.duotrope.com/
http://litlist.net/online_journals
http://www.litmags.org/list.php