Cannibalism, Starvation And OJ Simpson – Bizarre Book Club True Crime Special

Hello my little packets of single use HP Sauce! Welcome to another round of stuff I’ve read.

I love true crime books, the weirder the better. An honorary mention goes to Amelia Dyer and the Baby Farm Murders by Angela Buckley. Although the murder of infants is abhorrent it’s not quite odd enough to make the list. Fascinating book though and meticulously researched. starvation-heights

Starvation Heights by Gregg Olsen. The Victorian era was obsessed with fad diets and peculiar cures, and none were odder or more sinister than Starvation Heights.

Claire and Dora Williamson were two misguided upper class sisters, believing a trip to Linda Burfield Hazzard’s isolated ‘health farm’ in the Pacific Northwest will do them the world of good. It didn’t and that’s an understatement. We follow them from hopeful, rather naive beginnings to madness, starvation and desperation, as they blindly follow Linda’s prescribed diet of a few peas and sips of broth while signing away all their worldly goods.

Written in a novelesque manner (is that a word? It is now), I occasionally wished Gregg would hold back his tendency for poetry and just state the facts. However it’s absorbing, bizarre and deeply sinister, and you can’t help being fearful for the two women.

The Law’s Strangest Cases by Peter Seddon. I love this book so much. OK, the laws-strangest-casesauthor’s sense of humour is occasionally annoying, but only very occasionally – most of the time it works or he keeps it to himself.

The cases are mind boggling (I never thought I’d use that term, yet here we are) stretching from the beginning of law to the late nineties, including the shipmates of cabin boy Richard Parker who was feasted on while adrift at sea. Bizarrely it doesn’t mention the novel of Edgar Allen Poe, The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket: a cabin boy named Richard Parker was eaten by his shipmates while adrift at sea – and it was written forty-five years previously. Life of Pi author Yann Martel was no doubt aware of this fact when he named his Bengal tiger Richard Parker.

Other fascinating moments include the gruesome origin of the phrase ‘Sweet Fanny Adams,’ a parrot whose screeches proved a mitigating factor and a man whose solution to annoying visiting relatives was to SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE.

If I Did It by OJ Simpson. OK, I want to make a couple of things clear: I didn’t pay for this book, I downloaded it. I’m sure that will infuriate some people but I didn’t want to give out any money for it, I would have felt dirty. I also couldn’t finish it – if you could throw a kindle book across the room I would have done.

He’s really not a very nice man. The entire thing is a litany of excuses and misdirection – I’m a great guy, I was married to a crazy person, I never called her fat when she had a baby she was the one making my life hell about it, I was understandably angry when she made friends I didn’t approve of and she was embarrassed after calling the cops on me because she realised it was over nothing, on and on and on.

Part of the reason I wanted to read it was morbid curiosity – I was in an abusive relationship for a few months and in order to stop me pressing charges he turned the whole thing on me, something OJ seems very adept at. In fact, even writing about this makes me feel a bit sick, so I think we should stop it there. Don’t buy this book.

The Girl In Alfred Hitchcock’s Shower by Robert Graysmith. Who was the girl wegirl-in-alfred-hitchcocks-shower saw nude in the shower scene? It wasn’t Janet Leigh. What happened to her afterwards? It turns out she was murdered by a man in 1988 bearing an uncanny resemblance to Norman Bates…or was she?

You’d be right to be confused. The answers lie in this book which I mostly found fascinating, and yet I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I skipped sections. Most people’s complaints with this book, by the author of Zodiac, was that it took so long to get to the actual murder. However I love films and read it more as a biography of a fascinating lady who not only secretly starred in Hitchcock’s movie but posed for art, became a playboy bunny and danced as a showgirl. Despite this there are still moments when it takes too long to get to a point, maybe lingers on a particular scene too long. I did like it though and I do recommend it.

The Burglar Caught by a Skeleton and Other Singular Tales From the Victorian Press by Jeremy Clay. This is a fun read. The stories are short and odd, a bit like me. Admittedly not all are crime, but as they’re all from the papers a large amount are.

Example headlines: Wife Driven Mad by Husband Tickling Feet, Liberals Eat Dog, Killed by a Drunken Bear and Bound In His Own Skin.

Come on now, you know you want to read that.

Farewell my little houseplants of an unidentified variety, see you next week!

 

Odd Art News: A mysterious Oklahoma monument, museum of bad art and a sculpture made of chewing gum

Art is in the eye of the beholder. I like to think that if a person decides to make art and then does something, that’s precisely what they’re doing. No big guidelines, no list of rules (man!). It just depends on whether the result is your cup of tea.

Therefore technically performance art is occurring at my house every day. Seriously, come and see, the Dance of the Towels was a particularly beautiful piece.

So here’s a quick news roundup of odd art I spied today, follow the links for more joy.

A monument to Azathoth, HP Lovecraft’s ‘God of Chaos,’ appeared overnight in front of a restaurant in the Paseo Arts District of Oklahoma in August.

One legged babies and sculptures made of chewing gum. Yum yum! Have a look at the oddest sculptures conceived.

You might get thrown out if you're caught nibbling. I'll still try though
You might get thrown out if you’re caught nibbling. I’ll still try though

This makes me both happy and sad. The Museum of Bad Art has put ‘so bad they’re good’ pieces on display, though in my opinion no art of any kind will ever replace The Room‘s ultimate position as Worst Ever Anything.  Anyone wanting to see more can skim through this best of collection of photos from the unfortunate museum pieces. Here’s my personal favourite: museum-bad-art-painting

Well, there we go. Try not to weep at the beauty and I shall see you next time.

links to oddness for Easter

Merry easter one and all! Anyone after some peculiar, mostly zombie orientated arts and crafts ideas be sure to go here.

Just because that Jesus bloke has a new album out and is all over the telly doesn’t mean the world of the strange stops. Have a look at some of these jolly links:

Number one is a blog post featuring circus sideshow art. Who can resist?

Number two is a news story; apparently feotuses were found in someone’s luggage at Miami customs. Lets hope it wasn’t inspired by Fruit Chan’s film Dumplings.

Number three is a website dedicated to UK and Irish horror/supernaturalness, link here.

Just because I love you all, here is a link to News of the Weird for anyone curious about daily oddities out there, and here is a link to snopes.com, the go to site for all urban legend fanatics.

The Trouble with News plus Charlie Brooker vs the Daily Mail

It’s often been said that newspapers are doomed due to most people getting their information online. This is true, but I also can’t help feeling that if they’d spent more time giving me actual news rather than who’s having Nazi sex I and others might have been more interested. Probably. I make no promises. Well, the online articles are so much shorter and freer, aren’t they…

Anyway, the other thing that concerns me in this situation is opinion. We’re all human and can’t help having opinions, but it only seems to be people with very fixed ones who write for newspapers – or they at least have a very clear idea what their opinion needs to be at each different newspaper.

I also can’t watch the news without wondering about the other possible angles and viewpoints of the story – which is a good thing I know – but can’t they just tell us everything that’s happened? Perhaps look down the camera lens and say, “Well, those are all the facts, this happened in war, that man said this, all of this happened on this list here look. I’m not going to pretend that some actor slept with some actress because the truth is they didn’t, there you go.” But it’s just never that simple, partly I suppose because the news would go on for about four hours.

But sometimes its like I’m at a cheese and cracker party full of tedious people all desperate to explain what they think is wrong with the world, or are keeping others from speaking because it might hurt their client. Just tell me what’s happening!

Anyway, something on the subject that amused me was Charlie Brooker’s column on Sunday about the Daily Mail, which I’ve included below. He’s an opinionated man but at least he’s only writing for entertainment purposes. For anyone unfamiliar with the Daily Mail, it’s a bit like Fox News in written form:

When the Daily Mail calls rightwingers stupid, the result is Dumbogeddon

(by Charlie Brooker)

             On and on the comments went – a chimps’ tea party of the damned

“There was a minor kerfuffle a few weeks ago when the Daily Mail website overtook the New York Times to become the most popular news site in the world. Liberals can whine all they like, but that’s a formidable achievement, especially considering it’s not really a conventional news site at all, more a big online bin full of pictures of reality stars, with the occasional Stephen Glover column lobbed in to lighten the mood.

The print edition of the paper is edited by Paul Dacre, who is regularly praised by media types for knowing what his customers want, and then selling it to them. This is an extraordinary skill that puts him on the same rarefied level as, say, anyone who works in a shoe shop. Or a bike shop. Or any kind of shop. Or in any absolutely any kind of business whatsoever. Whatever you think about Dacre’s politics, you can’t deny he’s got a job to do, and he does it. Like a peg. Or a ladle. Or even a knee. Dacre is perhaps Britain’s foremost knee.

Curiously, the online version of the Mail has become a hit by doing the reverse of what Dacre is commended for doing. It succeeds by remorselessly delivering industrial quantities of precisely the opposite of what a traditional Mail reader would presumably want to read: frothy stories about carefree young women enjoying themselves. Kim Kardashian or Kelly Brook “pour their curves” into a selection of tight dresses and waddle before the lens and absolutely nobody on the planet gives a toss apart from Mail Online, which is doomed to host the images, and Mail Online’s readers, who flock in their thousands to leave messages claiming to be not in the slightest bit interested in the story they’re reading and commenting on.

Now Mail Online has gone one step further by running a story that not only insults its own readers, but cruelly invites them to underline the insult by making fools of themselves. In what has to be a deliberate act of “trolling”, last Friday it carried a story headlined “Rightwingers are less intelligent than left wingers, says study”. In terms of enraging your core readership, this is the equivalent of Nuts magazine suddenly claiming only gay men masturbate to Hollyoaks babes.

The Mail’s report went on to detail the results of a study carried out by a group of Canadian academics, which appears to show some correlation between low childhood intelligence and rightwing politics. It also claimed that stupid people hold rightwing views in order to feel “safe”. Other items they hold in order to feel safe include clubs, rocks and dustbin lids. But those are easy to let go of. Political beliefs get stuck to your hands. And the only way to remove them is to hold your brain under the hot tap and scrub vigorously for several decades.

As you might expect, many Mail Online readers didn’t take kindly to a report that strived to paint them as simplistic, terrified dimwits. Many leapt from the tyres they were swinging in to furrow their brows and howl in anger. Others, tragically, began tapping rudimentary responses into the comments box. Which is where the tragi-fun really began.

“Stupidest study of them all,” raged a reader called Beth. “So were the testers conservative for being so thick or were they left and using a non study to make themselves look better?” Hmmm. There’s no easy answer to that. Because it doesn’t make sense.

“I seem to remember ‘academics’ once upon a time stating that the world was flat and the Sun orbitted the Earth,” scoffed Ted, who has presumably been keeping his personal brand of scepticism alive since the middle ages.

“Sounds like a BBC study, type of thing they would waste the Licence fee on, load of Cods wallop,” claimed Terry from Leicester, thereby managing to ignore the findings while simultaneously attacking public service broadcasting for something it hadn’t done. For his next trick, Terry will learn to whistle and shit at the same time.

Not all the respondents were stupid. Some were merely deluded. Someone calling themselves “Hillside” from Sydney claimed: “I have an IQ over 200, have six degrees and diplomas and am ‘right-wing’, as are others I know at this higher level of intelligence.” His IQ score is particularly impressive considering the maximum possible score on Mensa’s preferred IQ test is 161.

Whatever the numbers: intellectual dick-measuring isn’t to everyone’s tastes anyway. Simply by highlighting his own intelligence “Hillside” alienated several of his commentbox brethren.

“If there is one person I can not stand and that is a snob who thinks they are intelligent because if they were intelligent and educated they wouldn’t be snobs,” argued Liz from London. Once you’ve clambered over the broken grammar, deliberately placed at the start of the sentence like a rudimentary barricade of piled-up chairs, there’s a tragic conundrum at work here. She claims intellectual snootiness is ugly, which it is, but unfortunately she says it in such a stupid way it’s impossible for anyone smarter than a steak-and-ale pie not to look down on her. Thus, for Liz, the crushing cycle of snobbery continues.

On and on the comments went, turning a rather stark write-up of a daft-sounding study into a sublime piece of live online performance art. A chimps’ tea party of the damned. The Mail has long been a master at trolling lefties; now it’s mischievously turned on its own readers, and the results could only be funnier if the website came with free plastic lawn furniture for them to lob at the screen. You couldn’t make it up.”

A pick and mix of Halloween goodness

Tonight we shall traverse the hidden barrier to view such classics as The Haunting, The Stone Tape, Ghostwatch, The Others and consume….pizza. It’s a bit early but every day is Halloween with us.

Here are a couple of things I found on the magical world webbington to assist the mere mortal in their passage to the other side. If the tubes aren’t running.

These two heads were spotted in the window of a barber’s. My first impression is that the customers are being taxidermied in the manner of the Landlady in Tales of the Unexpected.

A woman’s artwork collection is being displayed years after her death…and every single painting is of Christopher Lee. Apparently she ‘sometimes mixed the paint with her own blood.’

Neil Gaiman attempts to begin a new Halloween tradition with allhallowsread.com

An artist from Arizona has made a selection of incredible pumpkin heads like this: and the pictures are making their way through the news sites. View more here.

Kipling have produced a range of Halloween cakes called Fiendish Fancies. I for one won’t be sharing them with any children.

So, there we have it. And if you’re still not sated, there’s always the Halloween newspage to keep you informed.

Fare thee well…