Cannibalism, Starvation And OJ Simpson – Bizarre Book Club True Crime Special

Hello my little packets of single use HP Sauce! Welcome to another round of stuff I’ve read.

I love true crime books, the weirder the better. An honorary mention goes to Amelia Dyer and the Baby Farm Murders by Angela Buckley. Although the murder of infants is abhorrent it’s not quite odd enough to make the list. Fascinating book though and meticulously researched. starvation-heights

Starvation Heights by Gregg Olsen. The Victorian era was obsessed with fad diets and peculiar cures, and none were odder or more sinister than Starvation Heights.

Claire and Dora Williamson were two misguided upper class sisters, believing a trip to Linda Burfield Hazzard’s isolated ‘health farm’ in the Pacific Northwest will do them the world of good. It didn’t and that’s an understatement. We follow them from hopeful, rather naive beginnings to madness, starvation and desperation, as they blindly follow Linda’s prescribed diet of a few peas and sips of broth while signing away all their worldly goods.

Written in a novelesque manner (is that a word? It is now), I occasionally wished Gregg would hold back his tendency for poetry and just state the facts. However it’s absorbing, bizarre and deeply sinister, and you can’t help being fearful for the two women.

The Law’s Strangest Cases by Peter Seddon. I love this book so much. OK, the laws-strangest-casesauthor’s sense of humour is occasionally annoying, but only very occasionally – most of the time it works or he keeps it to himself.

The cases are mind boggling (I never thought I’d use that term, yet here we are) stretching from the beginning of law to the late nineties, including the shipmates of cabin boy Richard Parker who was feasted on while adrift at sea. Bizarrely it doesn’t mention the novel of Edgar Allen Poe, The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket: a cabin boy named Richard Parker was eaten by his shipmates while adrift at sea – and it was written forty-five years previously. Life of Pi author Yann Martel was no doubt aware of this fact when he named his Bengal tiger Richard Parker.

Other fascinating moments include the gruesome origin of the phrase ‘Sweet Fanny Adams,’ a parrot whose screeches proved a mitigating factor and a man whose solution to annoying visiting relatives was to SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE.

If I Did It by OJ Simpson. OK, I want to make a couple of things clear: I didn’t pay for this book, I downloaded it. I’m sure that will infuriate some people but I didn’t want to give out any money for it, I would have felt dirty. I also couldn’t finish it – if you could throw a kindle book across the room I would have done.

He’s really not a very nice man. The entire thing is a litany of excuses and misdirection – I’m a great guy, I was married to a crazy person, I never called her fat when she had a baby she was the one making my life hell about it, I was understandably angry when she made friends I didn’t approve of and she was embarrassed after calling the cops on me because she realised it was over nothing, on and on and on.

Part of the reason I wanted to read it was morbid curiosity – I was in an abusive relationship for a few months and in order to stop me pressing charges he turned the whole thing on me, something OJ seems very adept at. In fact, even writing about this makes me feel a bit sick, so I think we should stop it there. Don’t buy this book.

The Girl In Alfred Hitchcock’s Shower by Robert Graysmith. Who was the girl wegirl-in-alfred-hitchcocks-shower saw nude in the shower scene? It wasn’t Janet Leigh. What happened to her afterwards? It turns out she was murdered by a man in 1988 bearing an uncanny resemblance to Norman Bates…or was she?

You’d be right to be confused. The answers lie in this book which I mostly found fascinating, and yet I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you I skipped sections. Most people’s complaints with this book, by the author of Zodiac, was that it took so long to get to the actual murder. However I love films and read it more as a biography of a fascinating lady who not only secretly starred in Hitchcock’s movie but posed for art, became a playboy bunny and danced as a showgirl. Despite this there are still moments when it takes too long to get to a point, maybe lingers on a particular scene too long. I did like it though and I do recommend it.

The Burglar Caught by a Skeleton and Other Singular Tales From the Victorian Press by Jeremy Clay. This is a fun read. The stories are short and odd, a bit like me. Admittedly not all are crime, but as they’re all from the papers a large amount are.

Example headlines: Wife Driven Mad by Husband Tickling Feet, Liberals Eat Dog, Killed by a Drunken Bear and Bound In His Own Skin.

Come on now, you know you want to read that.

Farewell my little houseplants of an unidentified variety, see you next week!

 

Get ready for Halloween

Want to make zombie cupcakes? How about a monster? Or just want to look your spookiest? Here we are with a platter of enough gooey gore to keep you satisfied on All Hallows Eve.

1. Zombie fingers.

Over on one of my favourite blogs, The Year Of Halloween, is a recipe for zombie finger cupcakes by Amy, Queen of the Muffin Pan. The Halloween site is a wealth of spooky custumes, art and films so I suggest you have a peek.

To make the cakes you will need:

  • One box of cornbread muffin mix
  • Cocktail weenies or breakfast sausage links
  • Pepitas (pumpkin seeds)
  • Spinach or Kale
  • Green Chilies

For a full recipe visit the blog post.

2. Make your own monster.

If I squint my eyes he looks like Robert Downey Jr

Need help scaring those kids? Or just feeling lonely and need someone to hug on those long, winter nights? Well, look no further.

Over on blog Loony Literature are instructions on making your own monster. It seems all you need are old clothes, bathroom decorations and bubble wrap. What are you waiting for?

3. Cobweb nails.

Barry M Cobweb Effect

It was my birthday recently and I am now the proud owner of several new nail varnishes from Barry M. I love them so much it turns me back into the child who preferred playing with make up rather than wearing it. One of them is the Limited Edition Cobweb design. Hurry up, those nails won’t scare people themselves!

Below are a couple of how-to videos and spooky make-up tutorials. Merry Halloween and may the Night of the Walking  Dead be a pleasant one. Or at least one where your face isn’t eaten. Farewell!

Cheers everyone – My recent Halloween birthday

The original big screen twists

We’ve all seen them, the movie endings that have been done so many times they’re nothing more than a cliche. But imagine the first time it was seen, it would have been thought of as a stroke of genius.

Here are a few examples of classic films employing the twists we’ve come to know and love.

*warning* contains extreme spoilers.

1. “It was all a dream,” Dead of Night, 1945.

An architect arrives at a genteel British house party where he reveals to the guests he’s seen them all before in a dream. He then begins to predict events that will happen, leading to death.

This film boasts ‘the scariest moment in film,’ which many modern viewers may disagree with but is still rather creepy, especially if you don’t like ventriloquist dummies. Its also the picture that began the portmanteu, or several stories linked by one, format employed by Amicus films.

2. “I was making it all up,” Cabinet of Dr Caligari, 1920.

Two friends competing for the same woman visit a travelling carnival, where Dr Caligari announces that his somnambulist slave Cesare can predict the future. One of the friends asks him to predict his fortune, to which Cesare replies, “You will die before dawn tomorrow.”

Part of the German expressionist movement, this film by Robert Wiene includes trippy set designs and dreamlike performances, and has to be the first film with a twist ending full stop.

3. “I was dead all along,” Carnival of Souls, 1962.

Mary Henry is involved in a car accident but manages to crawl free. She begins a job in a new town as a church organist, but is plagued by strange visions and sounds. She finds herself drawn to an abandoned carnival, where the truth is revealed.

Many, many films are still doing this twist. In my humble opinion Donnie Darko is merely a convoluted version of this film. Despite its obvious low budget, Carnival of Souls is still quite entertaining.

4. “It was me all along,” Stage Fright, 1950

This Hitchcockian crime tale sees Jonathan, a young actor, confide in his friend Eve that the actress he’s been having an affair with, Marlene Dietrich, has committed murder. Eve and Jonathan investigate, leading to one of the now most overused endings of the movies (Switchblade Romance I’m looking at you).

When the film was released some people had a problem with the ‘lying flashback.’ The Jonathan character relays a story to Eve which turns out to be a lie. Nowadays incorrect flashback is acceptable as even CSI uses it to portray theories, but at the time flashback had only been employed to show the gospel truth. This led many viewers to have little sympathy for the Jonathan character.

Well, there we are! They’re the genius endings which became the cliches of the future, watch them and rejoice!