The Apocalypse Featuring Me: A Video Of Artists And Writers

Hello my little Sugar Packets!

An arty type by the name of Sean Stubbs asked Bill and I if we fancied doing something towards a video for an arty event in London. Of course we said yes and wept and agonised for several years over our pieces. No, we were given a day to do it. So, yes, I suppose there was some weeping.

The event, if you feel so inclined to show your bright button faces, is here and the video is below. Our brief was ‘The apocalypse is coming but turns out not to be so bad after all.’ The end result is a bit Chris Morris, a bit Warp Records/Planet Mu and a bit Welcome To Night Vale, if I do say so myself.

When I get the full track list I’ll edit this post but for the time being here’s The Center Parcs Fun Time Gang episode 2:

Bill’s animation is at the 1.40 mark

My audio ‘Finding A Date After The Apocalypse Without Losing Your Skin Or Worse’ is at 13.20. Enjoy!

Write for Frequency Theatre

Although based in Colchester, Essex (come to the Slack Space gallery and learn audio production if you’re in the area) Frequency Theatre are looking for scripts from all across the UK. Visit their website here to learn more. Plus here’s what they say to those with a script or thinking of writing one:

“Frequency Theatre puts new, engaging stories at the heart of our work. We want new plays by writers of all ages and levels of experience. We are looking for a refreshing voice, with a play delivered with verve and/ or wit. Plays that we’ll take notice of will utilise the medium, focusing on building atmosphere through the relationship of dialogue, sound effects and silence.

Plays should be 10 to 15 minutes long, as a guide this is between 1800 – 2700 words. Only plays around this length will be considered.

1. All plays should be in English.
2. Plays should ideally be written using the standard BBC Radio Format. For guidance this can be found at BBC Writersroom.
3. Plays should be submitted in Word formats only.
4. Only plays written for radio will be considered. Screenplays or play texts will be rejected.
5. Plays should be complete, self contained works.
6. Plays can be written by more than one writer.
7. Previously submitted plays will not be considered, only new drafts that we request will be read.
8. We are unable to enter into feedback with unsuccessful writers.
9. Copies will only be available following the broadcast.
10. All successful writers will be notified in advance of broadcast.
11. Writers retain copyright in respect of their script. Frequency Theatre retains ownership of copyright for all recorded works produced under the name Frequency Theatre Podcast. All recorded works may be edited for any reason including broadcast or promotional purposes.

If you have a script you would like to send to us, please email it to Rich Chilver at literary@frequencytheatre.co.uk

We look forward to reading your work.”

Good luck Pumpkins!

Exhibition: something wicked this way comes

Being in Englandland I will be one of the many who won’t get to go to this exhibition in Hollywood (I knew I should have subscribed to sugardaddy.com) but if you’re in the general vicinity this may well be quite interesting. Have a look at the post for more bizarre pictures and information.

Spiffing arty and writey updates from London

On Tuesday I went for a day jaunt around my capital city, soaking up information to pass on to others like a disturbing sponge.

I like to think of visits to London as plugging myself in, like a phone that needs recharging, which is very silly. However, the occasional visit does remind me of all the little things I may not have heard about otherwise.

If you’re a cheapskate like me have a look online for a list of free exhibitions and galleries and you’ll be fine. Museums of course are already free, which is as exciting as a singing fish doing cartwheels.

The tube gnomes notified me of Circusfest in May, which looks exciting. I shall certainly be there chatting up the clowns whether they like it or not.

I began my day by going to the Childhood Museum in Bethnal Green to write down as many toys as I could relating to the era of my historical novel. Reading about stuff is great but until you play with a zoetrope I’m not sure you get the whole idea.

The V&A museum will “redesign seven important galleries dedicated to European Art and Design 1600–1800” by 2014 amongst several other projects. It’s already a beautiful place full of art and fashion, both historical and modern.

I wandered into a Georgian ballroom and actually gasped, like they do in novels. I was in there completely alone and the silence made me feel as though I’d stepped through a time gap.The museum is also displaying a cape sewn from silk, which was extracted from millions of Golden Orb spiders.

All the V&A expect is a donation so you can’t really go wrong. They don’t accept bellybutton fluff.

The Serpentine Gallery, as well as featuring very interesting exhibitions, has a shop full of magazines and books dedicated to art and writing. My advice is to go there with a pen and paper and write down the titles. You can look at the submissions guidelines on their websites later.

In case you were unfamiliar with The Serpentine it’s in the middle of Kensington Gardens, just up the road from Exhibition Road (home to the many museums).

The gallery are opening a new space called The Sackler Gallery near the old place this year, so you can run from one to the other and watch dogs sniffing each other in between (disclaimer: don’t run from one to the other).

So there endeth my journey through the capital, may my facts serve you well. Apparently the Underground employs people to sweep up human hair. I like to pretend they’re tiny folks who use it to make nests.

Folkestone Creative Quarter and Art Trienniel

A wedding dress in a Folkestone Town shop

When I visited Folkestone last winter I was very surprised. I knew there would be sea, and walks by the sea, and tea by the sea, and maybe a town by the sea, but I had no idea what else was waiting. I’ll be honest; I expected to be so bored I’d end up wandering in the dead of night, wailing and rendering my garments. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that.

I had arrived in the middle of an enormous art festival completely by chance and discovered Folkestone has an area named ‘The Creative Quarter.’ Although the festival itself is once every three years (next should be 2014) The Creative Quarter is dedicated to the arts all year round. As it says on their website they have “become home to a thriving collection of studios and (creative) businesses.”

I wandered past the extensive market in the town centre, foaming at the mouth with excitement. The Quarter didn’t let me down; the buildings were as colourful as Mr Men books and each held a different adventure.

Me by the sea

It’s a well-worn phrase but there really is something for everyone. Some galleries were smooth and shiny as a space-ship containing beautiful landscapes and portraits. Others were dingy buildings with patchy walls and attic smells. They were my favourites; entering into darkness while a man pulled comedy faces on a screen was like falling into a separate universe.

These were mostly run by a group called The Folkestone Arts Collective displaying video art, sculptures, performance, paintings, models and interactive if you count the coal I got on my jumper from one sculpture’s ‘teeth.’ Personally I loved the video art as there were some beautiful and unexpected moments, such as the Lynchian scenes of a pensioner’s tea dance.

Some of the work I saw was playful, some serious, some reflective and one terrifying – for a moment I had thought a man tied to a chair with a sack on his head was real. I’d stumbled across it in a dark corner and had actually felt goose-bumps. To calm down I enjoyed a cup of tea in Googies Art Café – a pleasant and relaxing place with yet more paintings on the walls.

The local students were just as involved as gallery owners and professional artists and, even better, it was all free. If travel isn’t a concern or you live nearby, I really recommend a visit; check the websites to see what events are taking place. It’s better than spending a holiday wailing and rendering garments.