Ghost Cars, Paedophiles And Hitler: The Weirdest American Sitcoms

Sitcoms can be quite odd. Often a vacuum of humour, they’re mostly born of a Network’s desire to keep things inoffensive and entertain the whole family, dulling any creativity on the way (Big Bang Theory and Citizen Kahn, I’m looking at you). Sometimes they break free and become something great, for example Nathan Barley, Silicon Valley, Spaced, The League of Gentlemen, Fleabag, The Mighty Boosh and Atlanta (technically a comedy drama but I highly recommend it, particularly the BET episode. My stomach hurt during that).

Most of the time, though, sitcoms are just the same old thing in different settings, cobbling ideas together from already successful shows during a very desperate board meeting. Sometimes they have an original idea, but it’s so outlandish that you can’t quite believe was pitched let alone accepted.

Bosom Buddies

Tom Hanks’ first screen appearance seems to be inspired by Some Like It Hot only more stupid and less funny. Some Like It Hot had to be in black and white for audiences to accept Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon as women, but the Bosom Buddies creators thought nah, it’ll be fine.

Tom and his chum find a cheap apartment to rent but oh, curses, it’s a hotel for women. Did…did those exist in the 1980s?

My Mother, The Car

Wanting to capitalise on the success of fantasy sitcoms like Mr Ed and Bewitched, with a little oedipal complex thrown in, the reviews for the sitcom in which a man’s dead mother is reincarnated as a 1928 Porter were so bad that it wasn’t picked up for a second series. I suggest you watch The Simpsons parody Lovematic Grandpa instead.

Diff’rent Strokes – The Paedophile Episode

I had to include this. Generally a regular, unfunny situational comedy, it took a dark turn when the writers decided to highlight the dangers of paedophiles.

While I think it was well meaning and may have done some real good, the story slips down a rabbit hole of inappropriate laugh tracks and wise cracks while the action onscreen grows ever more disturbing. If you’ve ever watched the Butter’s Very Own Episode of South Park you’ll know what I mean, only this was unintentional.

The Flying Nun

“There’s this nun, see.”


“And she can fly.”

“What? Why?”

“She weighs just 90 pounds and…and…when the wind is strong it catches that funny hat they wear, and off she goes!”

“Tere, your mother and I are very worried about you.”

Mr Smith

The orangutan from Any Which Way But Loose landed a speaking role in this short-running sitcom. Apparently transformed into a genius after drinking an “experimental mixture” (pesky stuff) he becomes a political adviser (?) while his assistant and secretary try to keep his ape identity a secret. Yes, I’m sure it was hilarious.

Bonus! full episode of Heil Honey, I’m Home

Hitler and Eva Braun live in an apartment next to a Jewish couple in this British parody of American 50s sitcoms which aired for a single episode. I suggest you read this review of the shockingly unfunny programme here. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

P.S. The writing at the start is fiction.

#Horror Comedy Flash Fiction Possession Anonymous For #OctoberFrights

Hello all! This is the last day of the October Frights blog hop, though the other authors will be adding content tomorrow so be sure to click the button below.

Here’s a little story about a support group with a difference. Ta ta!

Visit here for more horror/weird short stories

If paranormal/horror/gothic erotica is your thing visit here

And there’s my youtube channel for more free story videos

Visit other Blog Hop authors

2 Hilarious Short Films Based On HP Lovecraft Stories

These short films found via The Lovecraft Ezine really, really made me chuckle, The Ordeal of Randolph Carter and From Beyond The Beyond.

They’re written, directed and performed by Chris Lackey, who also hosts the HPPodcraft, and comedy man Grieg Johnson. The first voice on the telephone in Randolph Carter is Andrew Leman of The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society.

Grieg’s Youtube


Interview With Berti Walker For Horror Fairy Tales Story

February's cover art by Bill Plympton, award winning Simpsons artist
February’s cover art by Bill Plympton, award winning Simpsons artist

I was interviewed for a new short comedy horror story I have coming out with F’d Up Fairy Tales, a new collection in which a few stories are released each month of the year. Mine will be released February 15th, January is available now here and here.

The entire thing is completely daft and the subject of boob milk somehow raises it’s sticky head, so enjoy!

Interview With Berti Walker


10 Scary (Or Funny) Short Horror Films For Halloween

The time approaches! That night where you invade someone’s house and move things around while they sleep so they wake up all confused and call the local papers and they come round and it all becomes a really famous case of haunting and you can’t admit it was you because it’s all gone too far so you have to just keep doing it.

To celebrate such a wondrous event I have searched the internet for tales of terror or humour to share with you all, because I’m like that.

I have no idea what’s going on in this UAE (United Arab Emirates) based film, but I quite liked the atmosphere. Cold Feet:

Funny and clever, this is a very entertaining five minutes. The Sleepover:

I wrote about the making of this film for a magazine and got to watch a scene being filmed (the doctor’s office). I also attended the wrap party where zombies carried trays of brightly coloured cakes. Annabelle’s Tea Party:

For an added bonus here’s a making of documentary:

There’s more than a touch of exam anxiety in this Korean tale. The Function:

This was shown as part of a series of shorts on channel 4 in the UK called Random Acts. It’s not strictly a horror but I think genre fans will definitely appreciate the humour. The Ting:

This mischievous short was based on a story called The Open Window by Saki. Read it if you haven’t yet. Certified:

The puppet masters have created another disturbing tale of kid’s songs and innards. Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared 5, Food:

1987 gothic short from Czech stop motion animator Jiří Bárta. The Last Theft:

I remember this Irish short from a film website in 2004 and it stuck with me. The Ten Steps: 

This Mexican film has a surprise in store. Luna:

Horror Bites Challenge – How To Host A Dinner Party Without Awakening The Dark Ones

Hello lemon popsicles! Yes indeed, two posts in one day! I’ve added a tiny horror story of mine to Office Mango, A Writer’s Blog, inspired by the picture below. Add yours, there’s lots of time. Anyway, here it is: scarecrow-cropped

We all know the story: a lady feels ready to host her first gathering only to open the Gateway To All Terrible Things, and that’s why Thumbscrews Weekly is here to guide you through any potential mishaps.

The first task is to invite your friends. This is fraught with danger as ladies are prone to ingesting the heads of the young and those hoping to arrange dinner parties, so it’s important you send the requests via post. Be sure to use the finest gilded cards or the first rumblings from the Netherworld will be felt throughout the land. Ensure guests respond by a reasonable date or the face you see in the mirror will look…different somehow.

Once your guests arrive bolt the door behind them against any who haven’t RSVP’d. Of course if a non-RSVPer arrives before expected guests you’ll have to lock the door against all from then on. Remember, no amount of knocking should be answered, even if expected guests turn up. They can’t be helped now.

With everyone seated it’s time to begin the festivities. The food must be the latest recipes from the website, any deviation will be face-meltingly unpleasant. It’s also vital that everyone is either laughing or talking even while eating, any lull will awaken Those Who Cannot Be Named. They must also not be thought of or spoken about, so you’ve a task ahead of you. However with a few well-placed acrobatic dwarves or secretly planted racist you ought to be able to distract everyone, thus ensuring the safe passage to a successful evening.

Well, there we are dear readers, all you’ll need to know. If you abide by the strict code to the letter –the LETTER – you can arise the next morning knowing you are safe for an entire year. Just try not to think about what you’ll have to do the following year. We advise going shopping instead, I hear there’s a sale on at Shoe World. Good luck!

33 Of The Most Hilariously Terrible First Sentences In Literature History

Have a read of this post in which fake first sentences were submitted in all genres to tickle the eyes and rib cages of all concerned. Mmm, rib cages.

Read their description below and then follow the link to have a peek at the submissions:

“Every year, the announcement of Bulwer-Lytton Prize is a gift from bad writing heaven. Inspired by novelist and playwright Edward George Bulwer-Lytton’s famous “it was a dark and stormy night” opener, the contest asks writers to submit an opening sentence for the “worst of all possible novels” — although Fifty Shades of Grey has already been written. The results are perennially astounding, with entries in every genre from Children’s Literature to Spy Novels, and one sentence awarded the dubious honor of the worst sentence of the year. It’s like the Razzies, but better.

Here are some of the best entries from the past decade of the contest, each of them just as wonderfully atrocious as the next. Think you can write a sentence that’s worse? Leave your (unofficial) submission in the comments.”

Toodle pip!

Episode 1 of Animation Cosmic Pup

Episode 1 of my friend Stephen Waring’s silly space adventure animation Cosmic Pup is finally ready. Have a little look at his artist’s website here

His animation website here

And episode 1 (Oh, P.S. if you ever see him, call him Weeven. He likes that):