Published Flash Fiction: Brain Painter

Well good morning my little spam lunches, I’ve got a new flash fiction over on Bizarro Central called Brain Painter. It’s about…well, you’ll have to see. Enjoy!

Link

Why not send yours? Follow the link to find out how.

New Surreal Advice Column Ask Maddie

Well hello there, so glad you could join me. Pull up a chair. Sorry, am I sitting too close? I don’t mean to, it’s just that your hair is so wildly attractive.

I’m researching surrealist films for my next post, and by researching I mean lying on my bed and watching a bunch of stuff whilst eating crisps. However, for now, you can contact me in my new advice column for Clash magazine. That’s right, you can contact me and I’ll stick your name beneath your question. I know, you’ll be waking in the night with excitement.

Here’s the link to all the columns so far. If you’ve any questions, surreal or not (preferably surreal), email me at evilpixie (dot) madeleine (at) gmail (dot) com with the subject line Ask Maddie. Toodle pip!

A Surreal, Absurdist Fiction Genius – Frank Key And Hooting Yard

Last night, while listening to the Drabblecast fiction podcast, I stumbled across British author, blogger and podcaster Frank Key, the Max Ernst of silly.

One of the most outsider of independent weird writers, his website Hooting Yard is a magical land of absurdist nonsense where his prose tumbles forth in an increasingly hilarious manner. He reads his fiction on the groovy London arts online channel Resonance FM and his fiction is available in paperback and an ebook called By Aerostat To Hooting Yard, which I just bought.

Here’s a story of Frank’s on Drabblecast, Boiled Black Broth and Cornets. It mentions legendary jazz musician Bix Beiderbecke which gets a thumbs up from me. I recommend listening to the show in it’s entirety as the host is very funny and they also feature hundred word stories by listeners.

 

This one, A Plague of Boils, was the one I listened to last night. I had to find out more about this weirdo. Frank’s story is the last of three and begins around the 18:34 mark.

 

This one isn’t so much science fiction as a bowl of madness.

 

Weekend With The Owl God begins at 18.30

 

And lastly here’s Frank himself reading on Resonance FM:

Billy The Bare Bummed Stress Ball (Video Of A Surreal, Absurdist Short Story)

Hello my little jars of very expensive crisps!

What with the festive season almost upon us I’m sure everyone’s feeling the financial pinch, so instead of not getting my partner Bill anything for our second anniversary on Monday I wrote this story and asked my friend to illustrate it. It’s just like Crackanory (if you haven’t seen that yet, you should)!

It’s very daft, but I hope you like it:

New Flash Fiction In The Strange Edge Magazine

Good afternoon my little baskets of velvet cushions. I’m very excited to say a tiny story of mine is available in the new, free magazine The Strange Edge. That’s right, an entire bag of weirdos available for free!

I’ll be able to tell you more of my news soon enough, but for now visit the link to read a bunch of absurdist, bizarro or surreal fiction weirder than my hair after a nap. Also you should pop over to the latest episode of our podcast to listen to me read my own story. I really hope that didn’t sound as vain to you as it just did to me. Speak soon!strange edge magazine

Bizarre Book Club 14: Time Travelling Pimps, Not Kittens and Clockwork Girls

Welcome to a fresh batch of not-reviews (the word review is a bit scary, isn’t it? I prefer ‘Telling People About Stuff I’ve Read.’ Not quite as catchy though). Today’s pretentious book club picture (minus book, whoops!) is brought to you from A Canteen, Chelmsford’s groovy hipster cafe. If stone baked pizza, artsy bread or smoothies are your cup of tea then come on down (Disclaimer – they also have cups of tea).

Pentax Digital Camera

1. Time Pimp by Garrett Cook. This winner of the Wonderland Awards made me feel as though I was sitting on a tea cup ride at the local fair. That’s not a bad thing – sometimes on the same page I chuckled (the pimp’s assurances that he neither knows nor cares how time travel works is a recurring joke), felt disorientated and then disturbed.

Much like Dr Who coming from a race of Time Lords, apparently Time Pimps are born on a specific planet into the profession. The Pimp’s various adventures through time with his stable of surreal hoes – which includes a world after pandas have revealed an evil plan to destroy mankind – was a bit of an action packed bombardment for my tiny mind at times. I liked it though, it’s entertaining madness and if you can allow yourself to dribble down the sink with the brain melting words you’ll be just fine.

2. Kitten by G Arthur Brown. In the real world (or is it?) the kitten is not really a time-pimp-garrettkitten, it’s a deformed squirrel thing that coughs up stamps and belongs to a small boy. The not-kitten is killed by the boy’s mother (well, kind of. Just read it) and appears in an alternate reality on a Steel Planet as a real kitten. Aided by a fishy handed man, he goes on a quest for revenge.

This is a very silly book and one of my favourites. Every page was a joy and contained something I wish I’d written, from hitching a ride on a panda by pretending to be a fancy hat to the abrupt dismissal of anyone’s sad story with “we don’t have time for your crap.” I found it to be an easy, brain tickling read and I think you might too.

3. Clockwork Girl by Athena Villaverde. You get three for the price of one with this book as it contains three novellas. The first one, Caterpillar Girl, was way too goth kid for me, although if that’s your cup of tea then I recommend it. I liked the next two much more.

Clockwork Girl reminded me of a sweeter, sadder and less angry Metamorphosis (one of clockworkgirlthe characters is even called Gregor). A girl finds herself transformed into a clockwork toy and suffers at the hands of those she lives with, including her owner, a girl who tires of her when she grows up. Much like the Velveteen Rabbit she is thrown away, but always hopes to be reunited with her owner.

Beehive Girl is a sensuous tale of salsa dancing and honey, with the ultimate accolade being chosen to dance with the titular honey-combed character. However the bees inside her don’t like bad dancers and sting anyone who puts a foot wrong.

I’m not sure how Athena managed to write an entire novella about waiting to dance with somebody, but she did and it’s very pretty indeed. In fact all of the stories are simple but very sweet and pretty, and if you don’t mind the odd happy ending I definitely recommend it.

Bizarre Book Club 12: Chuck Tingle Special

You have to hand it to Chuck Tingle – he’s found his niche. He’s cornered the market on bizarro, absurdist and plain weird erotica and he clearly has a sense of humour. At least…I hope he does? chuck-tingle

Never once in my Hallucinogenic nightmares did I imagine such sexual tomes as “Pounded in the Butt By My Own Butt,” it’s sequel “Pounded in the Butt By My Book Pounded in the Butt By My Own Butt” and the haunting classic “Pounded by the Gay Color Changing Dress.” He has a gay Unicorn series, for God’s sake, how can you not be fascinated?

He’s an elusive man who likes to play with the truth on social networks (meaning he talks nonsense) though he did give one interview for The Observer which you can read here. Bear in mind in his daily routine he claims he will eat “a big spaghetti breakfast, roll out of bed and then take a shower or a bath in the upstairs bathroom if my son lets me. Work on my Tae Kwon Do and meditate to come up with next tinglers.  when one of them sticks in my brain I write it down that night if ted cobbler’s keeping his trap shut and not keeping up the whole block.”chuck-tingle5

Who is the elusive Mr Tingle? Perhaps we’ll never know. In the meantime stop by his amazon page and check out such future gems as “My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass,” “Glazed By The Gay Living Donuts” (which I just bought and will be discussing on our podcast in two week’s time) and “Chuck’s ‘Living Object’ Tinglers.”

Chuck Tingle’s Amazon Page

Interview with author Jeremy C Shipp

Hello my little slices of pepperoni. You may remember American bizarro author and all round anomalous egg Jeremy C Shipp from such books as Cursed (which got him nominated for the Bram Stoker award), Vacation, Fungus of the Heart and Sheep and Wolves.

He kindly assented to an interview regarding his work and writing in general (and to not press charges; I mean, kidnap is such a strong word) and here it is:

Which of your books is your favourite, and why?

J: One of my books that is near and dear to my heart (and spleen) is Cursed. The story was a blast to write, primarily because of the character Cicely. She’s a loveable weirdo with a heart (and spleen) of gold.

 

What impact has the Bram Stoker nomination made on your career?

J: I would say the main thing is that more readers have tried my books. Also, the nomination gave me  super powers. For instance, with the power of thought alone, I can transform sporks into slightly smaller sporks.

 

What’s the one (or more) thing you keep in mind when writing gets difficult?

J: This is your dream, Jeremy. If you’re not going to fight to live your own dream, then you’ll have to live someone else’s. And that’s no fun.

 

How do your ideas come to you?

J: Dreams, nightmares, personal events, world events, people on the street, people in the clouds, a little goblin named Bob who lives in my skull.

 

Is it possible to make a successful living from writing?

J: Yes. Mostly, it just takes a lot of work and dedication. And skill. And luck.

 

Who are your heroes?

J: Super Grover, my family, my friends, Hayao Miyazaki, Joss Whedon, Felicia Day, Kurt Vonnegut, Larry Blamire, Tree Trunks.

 

Is being a Bizarro writer a natural state of being, or do you sometimes have to push yourself to make your ideas even weirder?

J: It’s my natural state. Sometime I have to push myself to make my ideas palatable for human consumption.

 

What goes through your mind when you see your published book/story?

J: Hooray! Book! Time to sing and dance and eat chili cheese fries!

 

Did (or do) you have to do a lot of networking to get your stuff popular?

J: I enjoy entertaining and connecting with people on Facebook and Twitter, and I believe it’s on these sites that most people first hear about me and my work.

Thanks Jeremy, you may live another year. Bye!